Self Empowered Woman

A dear friend of mine sent me this little story which
I find worthy to publish in this site, life is indeed
about sharing with and teaching one another….

******************************************** 

When things in your life seem almost too much to
handle, when 24 Hours in a day are not enough,
remember the mayonnaise jar . . . and the coffee.

A professor stood before his Philosophy class and had
some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very
large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill
it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the
open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured
it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with an unanimous “yes.”

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from
under the table and poured the entire contents into
the jar, effectively filling the empty space between
the sand.

The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
“I want you to recognize that this jar represents your
life.

“The golf balls are the important things - your God,
family, your children, your health, your friends, and
your favorite passions - things that if everything
else was lost and only they remained, your life would
still be full.

“The pebbles are the other things that matter like
your job, your house, and your car.

“The sand is everything else–the small stuff.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he
continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the
golf balls.

“The same goes for life.
“If you spend all your time and energy on the small
stuff, you will never have room for the things that
are important to you.

“Pay attention to the things that are critical to your
happiness.

Play with your children.

“Take time to get medical checkups.

“Take your partner out to dinner.

“Play another 18.

“There will always be time to clean the house and fix
the disposal.

“Take care of the golf balls first, the things that
really matter.

“Set your priorities.

“The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what
the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked.

“It just goes to show you that no matter how full your
life may seem,there’s always room for a cup of coffee
with a friend.”
*********************************************

 what a great analogy.

nm

 

One of the most powerful lessons in my life was the awareness that loving myself is very key to my happiness and emotional well-being. It is a fact that many people are not even aware pf and that loving ourselves is a powerful force in our lives and can be used to remedy many heartaches and pain. It gives us clarity of mind and motivation to be a better person and achieve greater things for ourselves, our mind, and our body.

Loving yourself is not to be confused with being self-centered or narcissistic which basically means being engrossed with oneself and one’s own affairs. It is not about being egoistical and conceited. There is a huge difference between these two.

You need to know that when you love yourself you will feel connected with the inner beautiful person that you are inside. We are all a being of light but that light will not be bright if you fail to spark it and give it life. To give it life is to give it love and when love flows within you, you will begin the process of loving yourself.

It is not easy to know when you do not love yourself. We all presume that we do, we think its a given. And yet, there are many people who allow themselves to lose their power and self-destruct themselves. Understand this, when you do not love yourself enough or love yourself first, you give permission for negative or unhappy things to happen to you.

Several symptoms to look out for when you need to love yourself more:

* When you s-t-a-y in an abusive relationship and continue to accept abuse and hostility. You mistake this to be heroic act to safeguard the family unit, when in reality you are just being insecured. Because you don’t love yourself enough you disallow yourself to see things for what they really are.

* When you solve your problems by taking drugs, or getting yourself drunk. When you do not love yourself enough, you allow for these self-abuses for they are nothing more than just that. Be aware that your lack of self-love leads you to self-destruction.

* When you think your life is meaningless or worthless, you think of ending your life. You lack the motivation to live because you forget to love yourself and the person that you are inside. It is not your business to take your life away.

* When you get to be fat and ugly and you don’t like how you feel about it. If you love yourself well enough, your appearance and health will be important to you. When you begin to love yourself you will begin to respect your body and your health.

Understand this, your soul is sacred, honour it. Once you know how to love yourself and love yourself first, you will be guided to make the right decisions, take responsibility for your life, achieve clarity of mind and peace of heart.

“You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.” - Anonymous quote.

It has nothing to do with not loving other people or not taking responsibility or making sacrifices for others. Your responsibilities towards other do not change. What needs to change is your attitude and responsibily to yourself - if you love yourself only then you will truly learn how to love other people. what you truly breed, you will beget the benefits of that love.

If you have tried therapy and medication and are not satisfied with the results, or you want to try an alternative to therapy and meds…
“You Can Heal Your Depression Now!  No Expensive Therapy… No Dangerous Antidepressants…” 

 

As I was doing my research as a online marketer, I am troubled to discover that there are people who use the internet to find out ways to kill themselves. I can only estimate from the keyword search, more than 16,000 people in an average month try to find information on committing suicide.

They also try to find ways how to die using sleeping pills, valium, carbon monoxide, plastic bag, or how to die painlessly. According to a report, women are 3 times more likely to have attempted suicide in their lifetime than men. However men are four times more likely to die from suicide than women. Suicide is the third leading cause of death amongst youth aged 15 to 24 years old. Suicide rates increase with age especially those above 65 years old.

Is that not just sad? I am always interested to know what people feel to reach that stage in their life? How can we help them?

I hope to give words of encouragement to people who are at the deep end of their emotions :

It is not your time. It is against the law of universe or natural laws, to take your own life. Your life is given to you on the premise that you honour it because you are not the body, you are not the mind. You are the soul. And your soul is sacred.

There cannot be a problem so big that you cannot solve it. Recognise the inner demon and empower yourself to combat your disillusionment with life itself. Give permission to yourself to see how great your life can be once you remove that negative self-talk.

I once received a strange hurried email from a girlfriend who said she was going away for a long long time, wanting to leave her doting husband and 2 beautiful girls. This was a person who suffered manic depression despite her blessings in life, despite her high degree of intelligence, beauty and spirituality. It sounded like a suicide note to me. But thanks to collective help and healing from friends, she was persuaded to s-t-a-y.

The point to that is, what could she have missed in her life? Perhaps she doesn’t love herself enough. Or she doesn’t know how to love herself first. Understand this, one of the most powerful lessons in life is to LOVE THYSELF. Once you are aware of this, you begin to do wonderful things for yourself, for your own happiness. Happiness and love begets more happiness and love. Positive energies progragate more positive energies.

Life’s circumstances will change once you decide you love yourself enough to want to make positive changes to your life. Don’t suffer other people’s problems and attach them to your life. It is not supposed to work that way. Love yourself first.

Have I walked the talk? Indeed I have.

Taking responsibility to settle your debt must be a priority because for as long as you don’t , you wil carry the burden in your heart and in your mind.  When you owe someone money, you must make the effort to return it and do not underestimate the karma that comes with it.  By default, you owe that person a piece of yourself for as long as you are in debt and your sense of honour will never be fully gratified until you do.

I find it particularly disturbing with people who borrow money for years and yet continue to live their high lifestyle.  Once someone remarked to me hotly when I asked for my money back that I would get it back some day, have no fear.  He defended his integrity by also saying there was nobody in this world who is never in debt and that pretty much concluded the episode.  And then there are those who would cite all sorts of problems, cost of house repair, car repair, high cost of living etc.   I refrain from judging here.

I have thought deeply about this issue and I try to understand it.   There is a greater problem beneath the psyche why this attitude to debt exists. Somewhere in there you believe you have no power over yourself and your circumstances.  You lack the motivation to honour your soul.  When you borrow with such ease and disregard the repayment issue, something happens to your sense of value.  You have just eroded your integrity as a person with self-worth and self-respect.  I am not talking about people in destitute situation.  I am referring to people with substantial asset who care for their exterior appearances and yet have little regard for how they feel inside.   It is interesting if I can even scratch the surface and understand the psyche beneath.

Some people claim it is hard to save, but you know what that is crap.  A long long time ago I used to earn SGD 350 a month, and I always put aside $50 before I consumed the rest.  What I saved stayed in the bank and this habit has taught me an important lesson that to never have to borrow is to safeguard my self-respect and live a life of freedom from shame. 

It is important to me that people do not judge me as a debtor.

It is important to me that I do not give away my power by borrowing.

It is important to my sense of self-worth that I honour any debts.

It is more important to me that people know me for the poor humble woman that I am rather than high society borrower.