Self Empowered Woman

One surefire way to maintain a low level of self-esteem is to continue to associate with toxic people. So what are toxic people? They are the people that are poison to our lives and our environment. They drain us of our energy, our time, our money, and they can also play havoc with our minds. Toxic people can literally make you physically or mentally ill.

Take a good look at the people around you: family, friends, bosses, co-workers, and anyone else who you interact with everyday. Do you find the people in your life encouraging, supportive, and uplifting, or are they a drain? How do you feel when you’re around the people in your life? If certain people make you feel bad, unattractive, or depressed, they are toxic to you.

You see, sometimes we feel bad and suffer from low self-esteem because we have surrounded ourselves with people who, consciously or unconsciously, have found a way to make us feel bad about ourselves. I believe that the most blatant example of this is a relationship with domestic violence. A woman or man most likely enters an abusive relationship because they have already had some issues with their self-esteem. However, once in the relationship, they must deal with someone who knows all the right psychological buttons to push in order to make them feel continuously bad about themselves.

In these relationships, it gets to the point where the victim starts to feel that being physically and mentally abused is somehow acceptable or deserved. They can even believe that it is often their own fault that the abuse takes place. Therefore, they stay in a relationship where they are abused, and their self-worth continues to dwindle.

More of us than would like to admit are in abusive relationships. Abuse doesn’t have to be physical or overt. Anybody who makes you feel lesser, unhappy about who you are, or unworthy is not someone you should entertain in your circle of friends.

Take a long hard look at the people who you associate with everyday. Many times, our relatives are the ones who make us feel bad and rob us of our energy and feelings of self-worth. So, step back and really look at the people in your life. Instead of asking, “what is the matter with me?” you need to ask, “who is the matter with me?”

Try to associate with people who are going to make you feel good about yourself; people who are empowering and are really on your side are not going to make you feel bad about yourself. They want you to feel good. Try to hang out with people who emit positivity. If you don’t have anyone who makes you feel good right now, then gradually draw yourself away from the people who are making you feel bad and enjoy some alone time while you find techniques, tools, classes, and ways of thinking that will improve your self-esteem.

As you start to feel better about yourself, you’re going to naturally attract people who feel better about themselves; it’s a win-win situation. You will also learn that you - and only you - hold the key to how you feel about yourself.

When trying to figure out why you may have low self-esteem, be sure to take a close look at the people in your life.

Wambui Bahati “Miss Inspiration” is a professional speaker and entertainer. She writes and speaks about building high self-esteem and about self-empowerment. Visit her Self-Esteem Celebration Blog at: http://www.self-esteem-today.blogspot.com/

By Allie Ochs 

The American Poet Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “What lies behind us and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Little did he know that his quote would sum up the past, present and future of women. He also didn’t know that women would emerge as powerful pillars of society. It wasn’t until the 20th century that American women were allowed to vote and it took even longer until they could say no to sex in their marriages. What lies behind us is the history of women, who paved the way to liberation.

What lies before us is the most meaningful time ever for women. What lies within us is the power to continue this feminine revolution. The once considered submissive female gender is rising to the top. Today women have assumed the roles of CEOs, litigation lawyers and senators. Women earn four out of every 10 law degrees and almost that many medical degrees. They have become activists against violence and proponents of human rights. Their worth has become defined by their accomplishments and ability to make a difference.

Today women seek validation as complete human beings. Along the way they have learned to master remote controls, change tires and file income tax returns. They know how to shop for bargains and still splurge on Godiva chocolates. They cry over romantic movies and get a thrill from the X-files. They are touched by the sight of babies and outraged at violence. When making love they like to be on the top, in charge of their own fulfillment.

Yet, taxis still stop for us, men still open the doors for us and firefighters will rescue us first. We don’t have to pay when we go on dates. We can go after what we want without being afraid to ask for help. We can say what we mean, without being mean when we say it. We can walk in the shoes of others, without losing direction. Best of all, we know how to solve our problems by simply eating chocolate.

There are more fashion stores for women than there are for men. Entire cosmetic departments, loaded with stuff to make us look and smell pretty, are created just for us. Our underwear, enriched with lace and rhinestones, is fortified with silicone inserts and airlifts. It doesn’t get any better than that. Our options and power are endless and here is some data to support that: · By 2010, women are expected to control $1 trillion, or 60 percent, of the country’s wealth - BusinessWeek and Gallup. · Women purchase or influence the purchase of 80 percent of all consumer goods. This is just the beginning! On a competence level we have what it takes to grab the world by the tail. Women are natural at multi-tasking. They talk on the phone, while cooking dinner, shave their legs while applying eye-makeup and run a corporation while managing a household. Women have compassion like no other species and never tire of listening to problems. They have the courage to find solutions when others give up. Equipped with great intuition they know right from wrong without consulting an expert.

Women are great communicators connecting easily with people. They are resilient in the face of adversity and are networking pros reaching out for support. Instead of hoarding information, women freely share with others. They are emotionally tuned-in and have the gift of expressing it.

Women have the courage to be honest and outspoken. When dealing with stress, women can have a pedicure or go shopping. Best of all, women don’t need to compete with men to be successful. They can stand on their own, or be united to reach goals. Femininity is personal power and at no other time in history has society been so touched by the power of women.

While many women may still be judged by the shape of their legs, corporations are zooming in on feminine traits. With a new female leadership style emerging, women are hired into positions of power because of their skills and femininity. Obviously, many companies believe that the best man for the job is still a woman. Society has finally concluded that the lack of female energy is the reason for most problems in our world.

Women have what it takes to create a more peaceful world of human equality. Our time has come to capitalize on our feminine traits and the warmth of our hearts to rock the world. No matter what background, religion or race we come from, we don’t need to look outside for validation. Our strength lies within. The world needs us. It needs our courage to forge ahead, our intuition to discern, our passion for humanity and our wisdom to see the big picture. Women must stand united in their feminine spirit to bring about global changes. There is nothing quite like women with a purpose, who rise to the occasion.

© 2004 Allie Ochs, Speaker, Coach and Author of: Are You Fit To Love? www.fit2love.com

Allie Ochs is a speaker, relationship coach and author of: Are You Fit To Love? Her book has received the honorable mention at the USA 2004 Best Book Awards. She has appeared on TV, Radio and is published in numerous magazines and newsletters. Visit her website http://www.fit2love.com and take the Fit 2 Love test.
 

Dear friend

If you are reading this, then you know it is by no accident that you got here.  It takes a passing thought  or an inner wish and it takes you to a place where you can find some answers, or relief that you are not alone.

You could be a successful woman but you are not fulfilled.  You don’t know how to be fulfilled or why money is not the answer.

You could be a working single mom, and you do not see the end of the road of despair. 

You could be a happily married woman, with beautiful family but you feel you have no control  to always be happy and it’s all dependent on external factors.

You could be a rising star , with the world at your feet and yet you feel , such emptiness.

You could be a worker trying to earn an honest living but colleagues/boss would not let you be and quitting is not an option.  It’s a vicious cycle.

You could be anything or anyone, minding your own business but you hear someone bitching about you and that is all it takes to crumble.  

You think your fate is tied to your partner’s fate or circumstances or whatever, financially, emotionally etc

I say this to you.  If your life is already up, there is a way to make it even better.  And if you are down, you can overcome your problem and change your circumstances. 

Go inward my friend.   Reflect. Cry if you need to.  And then you get over it quickly and YOU RISE. There is only one way to go, and that is up,  the minute YOU DECIDE that, enough is enough. 

Say I affirm that my life is a happy one.  I choose to be free and happy.  I choose to earn xxx. I choose to be me.  I choose to be attractive.

When you have the awareness that you can be happier and more successful (if that makes you happy), you will also learn, that you have the strength, an inner resource to transform your life and be what you want it to be. 

It is called self empowerment. 

Know that you are a strong woman.  You know God has given the task of giving birth, a most painful experience,  to women for a reason .  Because you are strong.  If a man cuts his fingers, he probably whines…

Mother Theresa said, God would not give her problems that she couldn’t handle, she only wished he wouldn’t trust her with so much.

Celebrate your strength.  Find your inner self.

I hope to share with you  many inspiring articles by successful and powerful women around the world who have a wealth of resources that you should tap on.   Success does not mean necessarily financial success.  These are successful women because they master the art of self empowerment.

I wish you all the best.

Nora M